would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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