Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
