I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
