she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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