She said her name was "party"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
