am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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