he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
