Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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