i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
