i think my mom watched the whole time
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
