I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Dear god my vagina.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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