O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
