Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
