Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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