i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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