I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
