I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
