Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
