it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
