Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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