Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
