i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
