She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
