It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
