addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
