Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize