Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
