i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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