Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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