And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
