it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
