What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Randomize
