she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
