I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
where are you?
Hypothermia
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
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