tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize