Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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