I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
