you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
