so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
