Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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