i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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