East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
