That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
