It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize