I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
