Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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