Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
well you can't waste a boner
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
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