You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
