Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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