Kiss
Puke
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
