Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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