Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
