Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
be right there i have to get my cape
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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