i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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