No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
