Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
