Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
