i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
