Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
