Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
