Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i barfeds in our rink
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize