White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
