elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
