Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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