I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
