***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
