just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
