He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
