I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
