Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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