Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
