white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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