I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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